Roger that, got 32-bit Ubuntu running on desktop. Thank you
ubuntu-16.04.3-desktop-i386.iso

Is there a 32-bit version of ubports-installer to flash 1+1 phone?

https://github.com/ubports/ubports-installer/releases/tag/0.1.7-beta
ubports-installer_0.1.7-beta_amd64.deb -- crashes 32-bit Ubuntu desktop
ubports-installer-0.1.7-beta.dmg ? -- is this 32-bit Ubuntu desktop
ubports-installer.0.1.7-beta.exe ? -- is this 64-bit Windows desktop

My 1+1 phone came with Android - Can I flash UBports directly from the phone?

My WinXP box is a 32-bit / 64MB SDRAM / 2Ghz AMD machine

While Rufus 2.17 created a bootable USB drive from the only file provided at:
https://www.ubuntu.com/download/desktop
ubuntu-16.04.3-desktop-amd64.iso

Booting from the USB drive causes the error below:
"This kernal requires an x86-64 CPU, but only detected an I686 CPU.
Unable to boot - please use a kernal appropriate for your CPU."

I don't have access to a 64-bit box, and won't buy one. That what the 1+1 is for.
Is there a 32-bit image of "ubuntu-16.04.3-desktop-amd64.iso"

If no such animal exists, can someone burn my 1+1 phone for me?
I'm near Disneyland, in Anaheim, CA - and will pay reasonable consulting fees

Can 32bit WinXP install UBports to new OnePlusOne

If not, where can I go?