Following up with everyone here, Fairphone email support did get back to me. It took emailing them every day for two weeks and then verbally telling them "I will continue to email until I get a responce."
The goal was not to pressure them into saying yes, but rather to even respond. No response is far worse than something to effects of "We are sorry but our policy is .... and we can not help you".
I will be adding a TLDR edit to my original post with some facts to hopefully help any other North American Fairphone owners.
And my quest is FAR from over of finding the Firehose files for the Qualcomm QCM6490. WHEN not if myself or someone else comes across this, I will be posting about it here.
If you are wondering how this saga ends, Cordon who does the RMA process is kind enough to send you a shipping label, and packing instructions. The thing is this shipping label is assuming its coming from within the EU (where if you like me needed to setup a postal forwarding service).
I am assuming the quote I got to ship it outright to said facility is high right now due to the suboptimal geoploitical implications of where I live is imposing on the rest of the world.
That said this task would consist of the cost of shipping the device to France (North of $300 USD as of 3/28/26), then dealing with the RMA process (which is daunting regardless of the company its with), then dealing with the postal forwarding service - which accoding to some reviews is known to disappear packages, then paying the insanely high shipping price back to me.
All in financially and mentally outweighs just buying another device, so I did, my new Fairphone 5 will arrive next week and my old one will be parts. If you buy this device, and live in the US, you better have access to parts.
Is this device repairable? Yes, to some degree.. Just because it comes apart doesnt mean you can replace it.
Will Fairphone help you with yours? Yes, to some degree.. I had assumed getting it there would be the hard part, and it was. But so was getting an initial response.
Will Murena help you with your Fairphone 5 in the USA? NO, even though they make the os that bricked my device, and they are the "north american distributor" they absolutely will not help you with a fairphone 5, maybe a 6 if your lucky.
Should you try the /e/OS web installer? F*** NO! If I could go back and read the fourms of people who had their device bricked by this, and the repair process I would have never attempted it.
Happy telephoning with UT all! I'll see you again next week flashing my new device.
